Keeping it Real

**This post has been in the works for weeks. Thanks to extra time on the couch this past week recovering from surgery, I've finally been able to wrap it up...for what it's worth. :)**

Much of what I would love to say in this post may be misunderstood & will probably not be very popular by many in the adoption world. I have said ever since we brought our princess home that I have more "adoption issues" than she does. She has done beautifully. Every once in a while we get a glimpse of an inner-struggle & are reminded of the unspoken fear & grief she holds, but most of the time she is a very well-adjusted, resilient adoptee. Most of our struggles have come from our own guilt over what could have been & frustration with the business side of adoptions.

When we dreamed of our referral, we envisioned an aids orphan, a child in need of a family. Our referral was much different than we imagined (isn't that often the case). We got "the call" about a little girl who was "slightly outside of our parameters" (how often is THAT the case). When we heard her story, we immediately wrestled with the idea that she was not an AIDS orphan, or really an orphan (technically considered a "half orphan"). She HAD a family, a family who loved her very much. There is no doubt that she is the daughter that God created for our family, but we wondered then & still wonder today what could have been done to prevent a family from feeling so helpless, so hopeless that they turned to Hannah's Hope (HH) & relinquishment. At the time of our referral we wished that child sponsorship or something of the sort could be the answer for the little girl we saw in the picture, but she had already been relinquished & her future set on adoption. It broke our hearts then & it breaks our hearts today. Now, we see the all important need for organizations who help families who are hopeless. Yes, there are still orphans who are really still in need of families, but all too often "orphans" are children with families who love them very much but simply don't have the resources to take care of them. We've got to find a way to help families stay intact.

Another aspect that, in hindsight, we know should have been different is the fact the HH handled both her relinquishment & her adoption. In order to provide the utmost transparency & ethics, two different entities or orphanages should handle each aspect of the adoption. If I had a list of advice for PAPs (potential adoptive parents) this would be near the top. Make sure that the agency you use is not in the habit of such practice. We knew that HH did this even before we entered the Ethiopia program, but we were ignorant to the implications of this. It opens up all sorts of opportunities for persuasion & such of the birth families when the business side of international adoptions get intertwined with the personal, relinquishing side of adoptions. Please don't get me wrong, we do not know if any persuasion or inappropriate conversations happened between HH & our birth family, but we will always wonder. Based on so much of what we know now, their situation really was not that desperate. Why did they so quickly turn to relinquishment? We may never know, but we will always wonder. Did HH provide them with any options other than a quick adoption to a waiting American family (& a lot of money in AGCI's pocket)?

The only thing we have known to do with our situation is to work & work until we established contact with our birth family outside of our agency. We want to honor them and we want them to still be a part of our daughter's life. They chose this plan for her & we chose to step in, but ultimately we still believe that when God formed her in the womb of her birth mother, He knew she would one day be in our family. This was God's plan & we are so thankful for it & blessed by it everyday. However, we feel like God wants us to take it a step further. He showed us this aspect of the plight of orphans for a reason...so we could be a voice for those that don't have a voice. We are still not sure what this means for us. Did our agency do anything unethical in our adoption? We don't know. We sure hope not.

We truly believe our story will have a good ending. Yes, we may wonder how old she really is & know she is way older than we were originally told, but we have a child who loves us very much & loves being in our family. However, we have seen others whose story isn't quite so rosy. Others have way deeper issues & struggles to overcome or just deal with. Other older children who have missed the language threshold & can't catch up academically due to the language barrier. Others who thought they were coming to America for their education & not for a "forever family". Others who were told parents died only to find out that wasn't the case. Adoptive families who aren't told the child's true age or family situation. It's child trafficking, plain & simple. The adoption agencies profit & the families on both sides of the ocean lose...and the children lose. True orphans remain in orphanages while children with families are adopted. And children get ripped from their communities & families, needlessly. All because visions get blurred by dollar signs. We truly believe hearts start out right...with a passion for helping orphans, but then our human nature gets in the way.

As adoptive parents, we walk a fine line....wanting to be a voice for the adopted children & birth families who don't have a voice...while still protecting our daughter's privacy. I've always tried to "keep it real" & not hide the things we've struggled with. I've quietly walked away from list-servs of other adopted families because I lost faith in our agency & got tired of all the ignorance & dreamy thoughts that people have about the adoption process. I don't think we've got a great case that the embassy is waiting to hear about. Sure we weren't told our daughter had a heart murmur until we were standing in front of the glass window at the embassy & they asked us, "Do you still want to move forward?". For us it was just a heart murmur, for others it has been much more life changing news. Nonetheless, it was deceit...deceit in the name of "orphan care".

Fun Time TOGETHER

The girls had their 2nd get together in America & had a blast! Chuck E. Cheese was the perfect place to relax & have fun together...no adults hanging over you watching your every move & hearing your every word...just two sweet girls (& quite a few sibs) hanging out together & reconnecting.

After the tokens ran out :), we headed to our house for cake to celebrate big Ethiopian princess' birthday. Our princess showed off her room & was as proud as proud can be to have her big buddy over! She gave her a birthday present she had picked out all on her own...matching outfits complete with the cutest sequins hat & flops! So fun, and so sweet to see the look on her face when she realized she was getting an outfit just like our princess had on that night!

God is so good...all the time! Amazing girls!!!

Reunion in the USA

The much anticipated reunion for the princess & her Ethiopian cousin/sister finally happened! It has been a long 3 months of waiting, but the princess has been amazing! She was both excited & nervous as the big day arrived! As we drove up the interstate on our way to Lexington, Kentucky, where we had arranged to meet, she was a little quiet but at peace for the most part. The closer we got, the more excited she got & the nerves seemed to melt away. Right before we arrived, the family called & we figured out that we drive the exact same vehicle, color & all. That made her so excited! She asked us to crank up "Party in the USA", & we found that so appropriate! The girls' first get together in America! Woohoo!

The girls were all smiles as they embraced & greeted each other. I just tried to keep from crying, as I had promised I would! We spent a quiet day together at the Kentucky Horse Park & the princess said she was so happy to simply be spending the day with her "sister". (The girls are technically first cousins but were raised together, as sisters, & who are we to change what they have always known each other to be. Yes, the princess knows they are cousins, but we have talked about how they will always be Ethiopian sisters in their hearts. In Ethiopia, terms for family relationships are very fluid. She was so relieved when we helped her know that she can continue to call her her "sister" even in America.)

The girls exchanged Christmas presents & the princess was so proud of the gift she chose for her sister & the gift her sister gave to her. Don't you just love the light in her sweet eyes as they exchanged gifts!

The conversations were limited between the girls. I'm sure they felt like they were in the spot-light & a little foreign to one another. They did enjoy playing tic-tac-to & playing with their moms' digital cameras together. :) It was a sweet day. I do think if we had it to do over again, we would have done a shorter meeting for the initial meeting & at a place where the girls could have some more private time with less pressure for conversation (we tried to find a fast-food place with a playground or a park but were unsuccessful). Lessons learned. I'm sure the meetings will get more & more enjoyable & relaxing as time goes by. Our experience with reuniting the princess with her BFF in Nashville, helps us know that this is likely. The first few times were very quiet...until they were able to play without the parents looking in on them & just be themselves. If anyone ever finds themselves in a similar situation, I would highly recommend doing a very brief reunion at the airport (mainly for the child's security of knowing that they will indeed get to reconnect) & then another brief meeting (maybe at park for picnic & playtime) a month or six weeks later. Then, increasing the length of the meetings gradually over time. That would allow for gradual reintroduction & processing of the experience. Just a thought...all that matters is that the girls have been reunited! The promise we made to our daughter & her Ethiopian family many, many months ago, has been fulfilled. Now we can write them a letter & send pictures of the girls together again! And, we can look forward to making many more memories for the girls together!

Praise God!

This week we learned that the princess' Ethiopian cousin has a family & will be coming home to Ohio! We can not wait to meet this family who we hope will become like members of our extended family. When we realized that her cousin was available for adoption, God made it clear that we were not the family she needed to be in, but that the girls needed to be in seperate families where they could maintain a cousin-like relationship. We are thrilled that God has provided a family relatively close to our family & can't wait to see God bring her cousin home & reunite the girls! What a great God we have!

Ciao

The time has come to bid farewall to our adoption blog. The journey to our daughter has been an amazing, life-changing experience. We are so blessed & thankful to have her in our life! Thank you to all who have followed our blog & prayed for us along the way. God is so good!

Troy & Gabriella

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Christmas is in the Air

After an amazing Thanksgiving day, we jumped into all the Christmas fun! OE met the Jolly Ole Fellow himself & was so excited to tell him some of the things on her list (which is quite long...way longer than any of the boys' have ever been...the worst part is that she remembers every single thing that she tells me to put on the list...we've tried to explain to her that just because it's on "the list" doesn't mean she'll get it...ahhhh!).

We went to the Fantasy of Trees (a fundraiser for East TN Children's Hospital...where L spent most of his 1st month of life in the NICU). She loved all the trees, activities, & especially the carousel.
She loves all the Christmas decorations & lights around the house. She has the cutest PINK tree in her room! The boys don't get much "talk time" on this blog, but I have to brag on their trees (a new family blog is coming soon...I promise!). Every year they decide how they want to decorate the trees in their rooms. This year, C & R have a DVD tree that is covered with all their favorite DVDs & L has a music tree, complete with his favorite CDs & his guitar leaning up against it. They are hilarious...very fitting for each of the boys! Here's a picture of OE helping my mom decorate her tree. Don't you love her hair! She spotted this hairpiece at Libby Lu forever ago & this weekend it was on sale, so I finally broke down & let her buy it. She loves it & REALLY wants to wear it to school tomorrow! This girl is great...a blast to have around!

Thanksgiving & Sadness

When I look around & see OE playing & enjoying life I am in awe & so thankful that she is a part of our family! This Thanksgiving, I am so thankful that God brought her to our family this year, & I can't imagine life without her. However, there is also sadness in my heart b/c I know there is another family on the other side of the world that misses her very much. Even though we only met briefly, they are a part of our family & I wish we could be celebrating Thanksgiving with them. Tonight is the first night that OE verbalized to me that she misses them. We were looking at our Ethiopia pictures & I pointed to her family & asked if she misses them. First she said, "no", but then she looked back at me & said, "Big miss". It broke my heart! I wish we could all be together as one big happy family!

1st Day of School

Well, we all survived the 1st day of school for our Ethiopian princess. We are feeling so relieved to have this one "in the books". She did amazing. It was so hard to walk out of her classroom & leave her. She did not want us to leave but quickly adjusted & enjoyed herself. When it was "pick-up time", we made sure we were the 1st car in line & it was priceless to see the expression on her face when she saw us (it reminded me so much of the 1st time we saw her when the gate of HH opened & our eyes met). N says that was the most important part of her day...the moment she saw that we were coming back for her :-) . From the moment she climbed into the car, she did not stop talking about it until she fell asleep tonight. I asked her if she likes her teacher & she said, "Oh, yes, Rusie loves" & we love her teacher, as well. She went out of the way to do all the fun 1st day of school things with OE, such as doing her handprint on a paper with the "Kissing Hand" poem. We had read that book last night at bedtime, so I'm sure that was a big reassurance to OE. I asked her who she sat with at lunch & she said her friend. I asked her if her friend was a girl or a boy & she said, "Girl, me lots of girl friends" (she was probably thankful to have some girls to play with since our household is a little lacking in the girl department). She was so proud. She is so excited about going back tomorrow but a little disappointed that she won't get to eat lunch because it's a half-day for the holiday. L is planning to walk her in all by himself & they are both excited about that. On the homefront, it was also a good day. I was a blubbering mess when we left the school, but I kept myself busy & made it through the morning by conitnually praying for my sweet princess! It is so amazing to know that God takes care of our children when we aren't there with them. For me, today was a day of letting go & trusting that God can take of my little girl just like He did before He brought her to our family & just like He will always! God is so good!

(Celebrating with ice cream at the end of the school day!)

1st Overnight Trip

This weekend we traveled to visit N's parents for the weekend. OE was so exciting about packing for the trip! When we got there, we were pleased to find snow--not tons of it, but a pretty good covering on the ground! She immediately said, "Touch it, Pleeease" in her sweet Amharic accent. Later L showed her the fine art of eating it (which has always been his favorite part)!

She also got to experience our favorite Tri-Cities treat, "Pals". She loved the "Frenchie Fries".

We went to Bristol Motorspeedway's "Speedway in Lights". It was great--OE's first taste of Christmas lights! She loved it! The best part, of course, was riding around the banks on the track! She just wished we could have gone faster!

Saturday we went to the coolest indoor play center where we got to ride go-karts & bumper cars & play laser tag--boys vs. girls! We had a blast! She got to meet a very special cousin who is from Vietnam & it was great to see the two of the together! We are so blessed to have girls from all over the world in our family!

Sunday we went to church with N's parents at the church where N grew up. Everyone was so excited to see the Ethiopian princess that they have been praying for! Before we left for the Hands on Museum & then home, it warmed up enough for OE to swing on the Mize Family Tree Swing which has been there forever! It was priceless to see her grins & her proud Dadddy as he helped her!

OE has big week ahead of her now--she is starting school! Plesae pray for her (& for us)! We are confident that she at least needs to be given the opportunity to try it. If it ends up that she doesn't seem ready, we will withdraw her & go from there--nothing lost! OE's new school is very blessed with a wonderful team of Kindergarten teachers who we are very close to & they have been so encouraging. They are so excited to have OE coming & are anxious to help her succeed. Most importantly, OE is excited about meeting lots of new friends & playing on the playground, of course!

Decisions, Decisions

Now that we feel like we have a grasp on OE's correct age, we've been exploring our options for schooling. She is the "right age" for kindergarten, but we could definately not send her & let her start next year. However, everyone who is around her a lot thinks she'll do great in kindergarten. Her language & attachement are my main concerns, but if we start her, we can always withdraw her if it's not working for her. Yesterday she went to the school & did the kindergarten literacy testing. Today the school called to discuss the results. She tested very well in some areas & in other areas she did not so well. We really believe this can be attributed mainly to the language barrier. We could just keep her at home & let the language progress & enroll her next year, but we are not sure this is the right thing for her. We could send her & she could catch right on & do great. I realize she is our daughter, but we really believe she is highly intelligent & bright and will flourish. We hate to not send her & lose the year if she could have succeeded. Please pray that we will have wisdom to make the right decision for her. On one hand it seems like a no lose situation to enroll her & let her try it out. On the other hand, who knows! I'm pretty much a basket case today about it (just one of those days :-) ), so Nathan called the school & spoke with the ESL teacher. He was very encouraged & it feels good to know we would have additional support from that program. We appreciate you standing beside us in prayer for this.

Photo Tag

I've been tagged by my sweet adoption buddy, Cynthia. I am to post the 4th picture on the 4th file on my computer & tell about it. I'm tagging Amy, Beth, Tammy, Michelle, Tracie. :-)

Not a fun picture to play tag with but here goes! This picture is of Riley telling our dog "bye" before we had her put to sleep. He was 4 years old & McKenzie was 10 years old. He knew she was sick & going to the doctor but didn't know she wouldn't be coming home :-(. I was behind the camera & trying to control myself from becoming a blubbering mess!

Readoption & Citizenship Day

Today we had our court date for OE's stateside readoption & citizenship. Woohoo!!!! She was so excited to officially become an American. Afterwards, she wanted to make sure it meant she never had to go back to Ethiopia again. I have such mixed feelings about her feeling this way about her homeland. I'm thankful that she loves it here & is happy, but it makes me so sad that she feels so negative about her birthcountry (& trust me we talk very highly of Ethiopia...to the point where I have wondered if it could cause her to fantasize about it). I realize it probably has a lot to do with where she is in her grieving process. I pray that she comes to the place in her heart where she loves Ethiopia & is thankful for the 5 years she spent there with her Ethiopian family while at the same time being thankful for the opportunity her birthfamily gave her in allowing her to be adopted by our famiy & come to America.

In the Chancellor's Chambers as he signed the Final Decree

Readoption & Citizenship complete!


OE's family & friends filled the Chambers (the attorney said anyone could come...just no balloons or streamers...we packed the place & our friends even brought cupcakes). It was great! Nathan's parents & grandfather even drove down from the tri-cities (not sure how I missed the picture with them...it was a little chaotic :-) ).

Afterwards, we celebrated at Chuck E. Cheese (of course)!

11 Weeks Home

What a week! No court date :-( but lots of other "happenings". This Wednesday is the date OE's court has been rescheduled to. Please pray that it happens & goes well!

Tuesday was Election Day & our country elected a man with roots in Kenya (his grandmother really does still live in hut there...one of our travel buddies spent a day with her at her hut in Kenya before we met up with them in Ethiopia to pick up our girls). I'm not going to jump on the political bandwagon & put my two-scents in, but I am going to say that I am so proud to be an American! Whether I voted for him or not, I am supporting him & praying for him 100%. I am so proud that America has made it to this point in it's history. Americans wanted change & did not let skin color stand in their way. My Ethiopian princess will celebrate her first birthday in America on January 20, 2009 which is Inaguration Day. What a visual reminder that the priveledges in America are for EVERYONE, regardless of their skin color.

Wednesday night we went to Disney on Ice. OE loved it! She got her first Mickey ears & was so proud!

OE is still really missing her long hair! She is soooo ready for it to grow out & this week she told me that she wants it to be straight when it grows out. Ugh--made me so sad. I love her curls, & I hate that she is already wishing her hair is different than the way God made it! We tried a little "do" with lots of little puffs all over & she hated it! In fact, I had to bribe her to even get her to let me do it. This girl just loves her bow headbands & there's no changing that! Doesn't she look sweet though---maybe a little too immature for a 5 year old????

Ever since she's been home, she has not wanted anything to do with Ethiopian food (minus chowing on Theresa & Cynthia's Ethiopian dishes at the Ethiopian New Year's Party). On Thursday, I was making her some rice for breakfast (yes, for breakfast :-) ) & asked her if she wanted any Berebere or Shiro Powder (Ethiopian spices courtesy of my amazing adoption buddy, Cynthia). She was in the mood & proceeded to dump a ton of it on her rice. It was hesterical! She likes it hot, mama...licked the spoon & all!

This weekend was Homecoming at UT. OE enjoyed some yummy ribs at Calhoun's on the River Friday night. Then we ventured out for pre-game festivities on Saturday. She loved all the orange & didn't stop singing Rocky Top all day! Go Vols!

P.S.--Before the game, we cheered for Coach Fulmer & the guys as they made their way to the stadium....so sad to watch after seeing Coach resign on Monday! Coach Fulmer has been a huge part of Tennessee football for so long & will be remembered for all the great things he did at UT. Go Vols!

"New" Birthdate

May 12, 1995 is the date on EVERYTHING for her Ethiopian birthday. It was converted to May 20, 2004, but the correct conversion would be January 20, 2003. Oh well, the reality is that if it had been done correctly in the first place we would have never considered her referral. God obviously allowed it to be done incorrectly...she is the little girl God intended from the beginning to be in our family! It looks like our court delay will allow time for the new date to be on the paperwork..God's timing is always perfect! We have not told the boys yet, but we are trusting that they will be "okay" with the news. R & C may be bummed that they are not really the "big brothers", but we trust that God will take care of that detail just like He has everyother detail of this entire journey. God is good!

Craziness

I've been working on OE's life book & trying to gather more info related to her first years of life. Last night, I was looking through referral info & noticed that her Ethiopian birthdate may not have been accurately translated into her birthdate according to the Gregorian calendar (the calendar we follow). The new date seems way more accurate in terms of her development, & we are excited that we may have solved this piece of the puzzle. All along, we wanted to honor the date her birthfamily gave for her at relinquishment even if it wasn't completely accurate. Well, now it seems that maybe the correct birthdate just got lost in translation, so to speak. The crazy part is that her readoption court date was scheduled for tomorrow & it was really stressing us out b/c we wanted to make sure the most accurate date was reflected in the Final Order & on her TN Birth Certificate. We just got an email from our attorney that our date has just been changed to next Wednesday. Whew! Now we have a little more time to try to get the date right. Things have a way of working themselves out (wish I had remembered that in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep). And, our Ethiopian princess may be 5 1/2 instead of 4. Lol!

Thoughts on Bonding

Okay, this is a long time coming (sorry, Theresa). As I look back on our initial bonding experience with OE, here are my thoughts on what helped us the most.

Be purposeful! Look for ways to bond in everyday activities. Keys to bonding are laughter, fun, silliness, touch, & movement. Routine is also very important. When the child knows what to expect from each part of the day, they are free to learn, grow, & heal! let the child go at their pace, if they're not ready for something new, they're not ready.-sweets, a few sweets while having quiet cuddles. Said to mimic sweet breastmilk with closeness.-give yourself a break, nothing in this world is perfect, hence God's grace.-set up boundaries with friends and family BEFORE the child comes home. And they don't have to like it, but this is your child. Family will deal better if they understand why the rules are in place ahead of time.

~Massages (let the child put lotion on you too--stress relief for you & encourages more touch)
~Feed the child & have the child feed you finger foods
~Brushing hair, make-up (or face paint for boys)
~Playing with sand & playdoh
~Playgrounds--swinging
~Baby burrito--We have done this with all of our kids. After bathtime, wrap them up in a towel like a baby. We call it "Baby Burrito". Then just be silly & rock & carry around. OE wasn't a big fan of being rocked & this was a great opportunity to use a rocking motion in a way that she enjoyed.
~Mirrors--use to play peek a boo & make silly faces
~Pictures of OE around the house--When OE came home, she was very quick to pick up on the fact the her picture had already been mixed in with our pictures in photo arrangements. It was a visual reminder from the moment that she walked in our home, that she was part of our family.
~Dancing while holding the child in your arms (very synchronizing)
~Crawling around & chasing each other
~Playing ball
~Jumping on the bed
~Bouncing & rocking when carrying
~Pushing or carrying objects (laundry basket, etc.)
~Soothing, higher pitched talking (You know how people always talk to babies...use that same level of talking with your child. We made a concerted effort from the moment we met her & for the first weeks together to only use positive sounded talking & to use baby pitched talking a lot.)
~Bootle feeding or sippy cups used like a bottle is used with a baby (cradle, eye contact, soothing voice)
~Playing peek a boo with M&M's
~Stickers on noses (When she was resistent to eye contact with N, first we started with getting her to put stickers on his hands, arms, etc. Then as she felt comfortable we encouraged her to put them on his nose & it moved her in a non-threatening way towards making eye contact with him.)

Please, please do not take this as me thinking we've done everything right! There were plenty of moments that I lost my patience & probably caused us to take 3 steps back in our bonding process. Also, we have a long ways to go. We've made it this far, but the work is not over & it will definately be a life-long process of helping OE deal with her loss. Angela, no, no, no! :-)I'm not the best mom in the world! I truly believe that God has been the biggest reason for our success up to this point. He gave OE the most wonderful, resilient personality that has been her greatest asset! I do also credit Hannah's Hope for their amazing care. However, I know of other families whose children came from other transitional care centers & have done amazing, as well. That being said, I believe that the love Ethiopia has for it's children is where credit is due. OE was truly loved & cared for by her birthfamily & then by the folks at HH. This has been a huge advantage. Yes, we have loss to help her overcome, but we do not have many of the other challenges to deal with that come with children from countries where they were not cared for appropriately. Ethiopia is an amazing country that loves it's children very well & for this we are so thankful!

**Additional thoughts that Cynthia reminded me of which were very important in our bonding process, as well. (Thanks, girl!)

~Let the child go at their pace, if they're not ready for something new, they're not ready.-~Sweets, a few sweets while having quiet cuddles. Said to mimic sweet breastmilk with closeness.-
~Give yourself a break, nothing in this world is perfect, hence God's grace.
~Set up boundaries with friends and family BEFORE the child comes home. And they don't have to like it, but this is your child. Family will deal better if they understand why the rules are in place ahead of time.

"Good English"

It has been such a joy to watch OE soak up her new language like a sponge. Here are some of our favorite phrases.
~"Rusie loves"--used anytime she loves something or someone "Rusie loves Mommy", "Rusie loves sausage", etc.
~"Sleepy wake up"--tomorrow
~"Connor by sit"--"Sit by Connor"
~"No friend"--she says this when she gets mad at someone "Mommy no friend"
~"What is your name"--the phrase she uses to ask us the English word for anything...we hear this a million times everyday...it's hilarious
~"Are you finished"--used instead of saying "I am finished (with dinner or whatever)"
~"Good English"--what she says to congratulate herself when she learns a new phrase or uses correct English

10 Weeks Home

This has been a week of "firsts" for our sweet girl. She & I seperated & did our own thing for the first time since we were in Ethioipa. She stayed with my mom & N on two seperate occasions while I ran errands! Woohoo! I love my girl like crazy, but everyone needs a break every now & then (even if it's just for a 30 minute errand)! Then, this morning she even went to class with R & C at church! We are so thankful that we have reached this place. We didn't push it all all, & we are so still glad that we chose this approach. We took it nice & slow & defniately let her do the leading. It is good to have made it to this point though!

We had a great week at our house. My arthritis is finally responding to the medication changes & I am feeling soooo much better. I cannot thank everyone enough for all the prayers! I am so blessed!

This week we had our first little taste of snow in East TN & it was so fun to see OE experience snow for the first time. She was so excited & wanted to catch it...it was so cute!

OE talked to one of her buddies from Hannah's Hope on the phone for the first time, as well this week! She was so excited! He spoke a little Amharic...she mainly listened & said, "That's so cool" over & over again. It seemed to have brought her to a new place in her grieving...now she talking about "Etopia" again & is sharing more of her life in Africa with us. We are so thankful! Last night, while we were eating at Olive Garden, she saw a ceramic rooster & proceeded to tell us about catching a rooster, cutting it's head off, & getting it ready to eat. It was hilarious. One might have thought she was making it up, but she knew WAY too many details. She said it was walking down the street & one of her cousins chased it & caught it. Then her aunt held it while OE cut it's head off with a knife. Then they pulled all the feathers out & rinsed it in water before putting it over the fire. Wow! She was so cute as she told us all about it & we were quite shell-shocked. It brought us lots of laughes!I would have loved to have captured the moment on video.

OE & I had girl time with some of our favorite girl friends at Apple Cake Tea Room to celebrate my birthday. We love our girl days on Tuesdays & Thursdays while the boys are all at school!



OE loved all the Halloween fun! She thought the pumpkin guts smelled horrible but loved the idea of dressing up all cute & going around for candy. What a fun week! Next week she becomes an American citizen! Woohoo!!!!

Referral & Waiting for Travel Pics

Just four months ago we saw our daughter's sweet face for the first time. I will never forget that evening when the phone rang. I was upstairs doing laundry or something & N & the boys were downstairs getting ready to head outside to play. It was Kate, our casemanager, she had a little girl that she thought we might want to hear about. She was a little older than our stated parameters, but God had already prepared my heart for that just a few days prior. She told me a little about her & then sent us an email with additional info & phots! Here are few of the pictures we stared at for the next 24 hours while we prayed over her referral.

In those first 24 hours, I was not convinced she was the one for us. What about the parameters we had felt led to? Aspects of her history made me very uncomfortable (the possibility of an older birth brother, the fact that her mother was still very much alive just not able to care for her--I had this picture in my head of a girl with no siblings & dead parents). Isn't it amazing how God stirs in your heart & shows you where your own will needs to be set aside to allow room for His perfect will. Now, I am so thankful that we know so much about her birthfamily. There are still gaps but so much more is known than what I had envisioned--what a blessing for our daughter. I am also thankful that she is older & was able to spend 4 years of her life in her homeland, with her birthfamily (which actually does not include birth siblings...just LOTS of cousins :-) ). Some of these realizations came during those first 24 hours that we knew about her but not all. So much of our decision came based totally on faith. God made it so clear that this was the little girl for our family, & we could feel Him saying, "I know the big picture. I know everything about her & everything about your family. I made this child for you & you for her." This sweet girl turned our world upside down from those moments on. We now have "girl power" in our house & mommy-daughter shopping trips! Life is amazingly good! Here are some other pictures that we were blessed to receive from other traveling families while we waited for court proceedings to finalize so we could travel to be united forever with our daughter!





This weekend the first group of families since we traveled will travel to Ethiopia to pick up their children. My heart & prayers are with these families. Soak it up! I worked so hard to ask all the questions I could think of & learn as much as I could about her history & life in Ethiopia. Still I have regrets...one big regret especially. We had the address of where our birthfamily lived. I wish we had hired a taxi & secretly driven through the area--just so I would know it looked like, so I could pass the memory on to OE. Everytime we drove around the city, I wondered what kind of house she had spent her first years in--an apartment building, a shack. I wish had seen the streets she had played in--the streets that were the backdrop for all the stories she has told us. I still wonder & know that this be very difficult for her later on when her memories are not as clear as they are now. For the families traveling this weekend, we are all praying for you. I am so excited that several of the children I met & fell in love with are meeting their forever families! For the families still waiting to pass court & get news of travel, rest in His peace. God knows the big picture & He is in control!