R got his stiches out this morning & has been so brave through it all. He is going to have a pretty good scar. Thank goodness it's right under his chin! L & C are being great big brothers! C is struggling some with jealousy. He & R have always been two peas in a pod (especially when L is at school). Now OE has thrown some triangulation into the picture. He also tries very hard to take care of her & ends up tattling on her A LOT. She is much more independent than we expected, so the roles we had a prepped the boys for are a little skewed! She doesn't need the extra guidance & help from her big brothers as we had expected. He's adjusting...just needs a little extra TLC! OE seems to have already overcome the little attachement regressing that we experienced during my couch time! Tonight, as I was watching her play, I was totally struck by her resillency & strength. I am so thankful that God blessed her with these characteristics that are helping her overcome hard times! God is amazing!
Friday morning we had our first post-placement visit with the social worker. It was very challenging, but we survived. C & R were in a funk that morning, enough said! N was able to take the kids upstairs, so we could have some extra time to talk about some issues we are dealing with & that was a huge help!
Overall, our socialworker said OE is doing amazingly well! She was blown away by her English & the fact that she seems to have absolutely no developmental delays. You know, you read about & prepare for so many development delays in adopted children, & we are thrilled that we do not have any to work through. Even though OE turned 4 in May & could technically start Kindergarten next year, we had assumed that she would need an extra year to catch up. No way, jose! This girl is ready for kindergarten! So, this means we will have 3 kindergarteners! Oh, boy! Now, of course, things could change. We had already been thinking along those lines, but after our social worker spent some time with her, she confirmed that we probably had no choice but to send her on to school next year. She truly is one smart girl, just as Almaz said! We've had to adjust our thinking some, but now I've already called the school to get an ELL evaluation & I'm going to start "doing preschool" at home with her on Tuesdays & Thursdays while the boys are at school. We're just rolling with the punches!
We are also seeing a few behaviors that may be a result of some possible trauma she has experience, but we are going to watch things for a month or so. At that point, we have the name of a local therapist who is very experienced with helping children with attachment & trauma issues. These behaviors are nothing huge or scary...just some things we've noticed as we've been analyzing EVERYTHING---we know how important it is to catch things very early on & get her the help she may need.
As for attaching, we are making it--definately not "there", but we are chugging along. Our social worker encouraged us to continue "keeping our world small" for several more months. We have noticed some indescriminate affection with strangers, so we still must work hard to limit contact with people outside of our home. It really helps when I carry her in the sling. It seems to help her feel safe & remind her that I'm her mommy (but riding in the sling all the time isn't very realistic for an active little girl). So, if you are local & see us out. Please help us by not picking her up if she reaches for you & only let her hug you if she is in my arms. Everyone has been so good with this. We really thought we would be past this point by now, but we realize that this process is much slower with older children.
As for Mom & Dad, we are surviving. There are those moments when we get very bogged down in the difficulty of this part of the journey. We knew that adopting an older child would be hard, but we also knew that God called us to this path. We were right! This is extremely hard, but God is here with us! We are so thankful for this huge blessing in our life! We are thankful that God chose us to be OE's forever family! We are so in love with her!
Being silly with my knee brace once she got over being scared of it!
Our 1st "do"....not much to it & you may not even be able to see it, but there are two little teeny puffs on each side of her head (& one on the back of her head). This girl is so ready to for her hair to grow. She is really grieving her lack of hair! She looks in the mirror & pretends to brush out long hair & braid it...just pitiful! She was so proud of her little puffs...the hairbands with bows are just getting plain old...this girlie girl wants some styles!
Along with realizing how good her motor skills are, we realized she was ready for a big-girl bike! She loves it! She is so proud of herself & wants to be outside riding her bike ALL THE TIME! We are proud of her, too...isn't she just the cutest little bike rider..lovin all the pink!
She has been wanting to have a birthday so bad! Since her's isn't until May, we decided to celebrate the birthday's we've missed in her sweet life! We wanted to have a big party at the park & invite friends, but for the purpose of "keeping our world small" we celebrated at home. She had a blast decorating for "Rusie's Happy Birthday Princess Party" (in her words). She was so excited all day long! We went out for dinner to eat her favorite HAMBURGER (no dabo or bread) & FRENCH FRIES! She was all smiles ! What an amazing little girl God has given us!
3 comments:
she is growing and blooming in your love!!
What a sweetheart you've got...and what a lucky little girl to have such an awesome family! I'm so glad things are going so well, and you guys are being so wise and loving in the way you are dealing with your changing family dynamics. God definitely knew what he was doing when he put you all together. What a blessing!
It's great to hear that she's doing well! That's so fun that you did a birthday party for her!
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